Everything’s Otay!

When it comes to mental healing, it is NOT an easy journey to go through, BUT there is light at the end of the tunnel. As someone who is healing and has hit some milestones and progressing daily, I am happy to say I’m proud of myself! It took me until I was 27 to fully experience peace, gratitude, true love, and happiness. As I’m still healing, there will be good and bad days and/or times when some triggers bother me more than others, and that is normal in the journey.

From 2021-2022, those years took a GREAT toll on me. I went to therapy, and I started to see people for who they were and what I meant to them. This year, I decided I was tired of the fear, anxiety & mindset I fully couldn’t break out of. Even though I made some changes over the last year, I still wasn’t happy with where I was mentally. I felt I could do a little more for myself this year and I can honestly say I am happy & proud of where I am today.

Many of us might have been in therapy for many years, and some of us only a few months. We all move at our own pace. Here are a few things I have learned along the way while I continue to go through my healing journey:

• Stop comparing yourself & your progress to others. I still struggle with this from time to time. Remind yourself that you will get to where you want to be. We ALL move at our own pace. It takes time, patience & effort. The more consistent you are with yourself, the more love you pour into YOU & realize you are a unique individual doing the best you can. There’s no one else like you.
• Don’t be hard on yourself. My therapist pointed this out to me. She suggested I speak to myself the way I speak to my loved ones. Over time, I started to speak softly, gently, and kindly to myself. I remind myself that we all make mistakes, we are imperfect human beings, and that this is not a race. I took time to appreciate where I was to where I am today. I examine my growth because growth takes time. It is like a caterpillar. It takes time for it to bloom into a beautiful butterfly.
• Remember your worth. You are a unique individual, and we all have a story to share. If someone around you only wants you around for your acts of service? Tell that individual GOODBYE! You are with more than just what you give. You are a beautiful human being inside & out. Allow people to see that.
• Self-love, self-care, self-respect, and setting boundaries. I feel like these 4 fall into one category. If nourish yourself and you start practicing self-care from within and out, you’ll gain self-love. When you have self-love, you’ll know self-respect and start placing boundaries for yourself. YOU will start respecting your body and mind, and you will be aware of what you will and will not tolerate from others. Here is where you value and cherish YOU.
• Learn to trust in yourself. Start believing you are capable of so much. You have the power to create the life you desire to live. Trust that you can make it happen.
• Allow yourself to feel your emotions. There will be random moments where different emotions arise out of nowhere & that’s okay. Sometimes, I feel sad and heaviness on my chest and allow myself a good cry. Don’t try to hide those emotions you feel. Acknowledge them, analyze them & move on.
• Learn to let go of people who no longer contribute to your peace. I’ve dealt with A LOT of toxic individuals that did not bring out the best in me. I was constantly under a lot of stress. I no longer want to deal with those individuals. I want to surround myself with individuals who bring peace, joy, and positivity into my life and those I know I can trust and count on and vice versa.
• Be present. As someone who is just now enjoying life, I am truly living in the moment. I’m learning about myself, learning about other individuals, and soaking in the moment with those I love with no distractions.
• Learn to forgive those individuals who hurt you. I am still applying this one to my life. This does not mean I have to build a relationship with these individuals. I don’t need to contact them or condone their behaviors. This just means I’m allowing myself to move past the hurt & pain they have caused me & live the life I truly deserve.*

* Those individuals who repeatedly hurt you after you addressed an issue and CONTINUED to show disrespect (behind your back or in front of your face) knew EXACTLY what they were doing. They made a million and one excuses justifying their “mistake” (repeated behavior), but you saw past the BS. Actions speak louder than words. Move past these individuals because you are worth so much more.

There’s so much more I learned & my healing is not over yet. I still have a ways to go, and I look forward to the day when I no longer allow my traumas & triggers to get the best of me. I’m aware that my traumas won’t entirely go away, but I’ll be better at coping with them. I’m beginning to live that happy, successful, joyous life I want for myself. I’m so thankful I currently have people in my life that make healing a little easier. I appreciate their patience.

You too can reach this point in your journey. At one point I thought I’d never make it to where I am today. Put some faith in yourself & remember small steps are steps in the right direction. Be patient with yourself & stop comparing. Cheers to the progress we made! Let’s celebrate these milestones and know that I’m proud of you & so are many others. We can do this journey together. You got this! & remember, everything’s otay!