Dear Little Me,
I remember the little girl who wore dresses and went almost everywhere with her favorite pair of clong-clongs (what you referred to as high heels.) You used to sing your little heart out anywhere and everywhere you went. That’s what you loved to do. If anyone asked, “what would you like to be when you grow up? You immediately responded with “a singer.” You knew what you wanted at such a young age. You knew you always wanted a family with children and a husband in your future. You knew the little things that brought you joy, like flowers, painting, drawing, writing, sparkles, baking, animals, and spending time with friends and family.
While you were growing up and trying to make the best out of your childhood, life had other plans, and it wasn’t all that kind. You’ve seen and heard things I wish you’d never had to experience. You were the oldest of your siblings and had to set an example. At a young age, you were put in a position where you had to be the strong one, the leader, and the problem solver in your family. You had no time to explore and enjoy life. You were the one that kept the household together.
A lot of the time, you felt alone, unwanted, afraid, unsafe, a burden, unheard, uncared for, and unimportant. You felt like your existence didn’t matter to those you loved. Emotionally, you were bruised, scared, and in pain. The question you constantly asked yourself was “why?”
We might never get answers to many of our questions, but we will keep pushing through. I am here to tell you that I will be here for you. You’ve gone through so much and fought so hard to be strong. It’s your time to relax and know all will be okay. I wish I could shield you from all you’ve been through, but maybe we needed this to shape us into who we are now and to learn. We have an opportunity to become a better person. We can be that example that we made it through and are still making it through despite what life has thrown at us. We can be there for those that might have gone through what we’ve gone through.
Unfortunately, those who were supposed to be in our life from cradle to grave have chosen to take an exit in our life. People change, and sometimes it’s best to let go, and that’s okay. We wish nothing but the best for them. I know how much they meant to you, but we are learning that sometimes people go their separate ways. It’s a new chapter for us.
I’m ready to be here for you. I’m here to care for you the way you always wanted to be cared for; I’m here to listen and to give you what you need. All you wanted was tender love and care. I’m here to show you that you won’t go through this alone. We’re healing together.
Little me, I promise I’ll treat you the way you were always supposed to be treated, like a queen. I’ll do my best to make our dreams come true, and we will create memories with great people and explore the world. We are learning so much while we’re healing. There’s no need to feel afraid anymore. I’m here to remind you that everything’s otay.
Love, older you
P.S.: We found someone that loves us as much as we love them. Our favorite person is incredible and everything you always wanted (yes, they even got you flowers.) Also, our favorite color is still pink, and I promise we’ll get back to the days we sang our heart out.