It gets difficult recalling this memory. For those of you that just clicked on this post, this is a story that took place in my siblings and my life and A LOT happened during this time. To find out how we got here please take a moment to read Part 1.
What We Found Out:
From this point on, I can’t remember everything that happened, but I remember me and my siblings enter through those double doors in a rush. There he was, on the bed to the left of the emergency room. He was there, still, unable to breath, lifeless. My sister immediately began to cry while my brothers and I tried to soak it all in. I can’t remember exactly what happened but I do remember a nurse walking up to us and asked “Do you have family you can reach out to for support” My brother and I looked at each other, looked back at the nurse and replied “no, it’s only us” she sighed and proceed with duties. Shortly after, the doctor came and pulled the oldest ones aside and told us “I’m sorry to inform you but your father had a heart attack, he had a blood clot in his artery causing the blood to stop flowing to his heart.” My brain got fogged and I got numb. I remember her mentioning on the way to the hospital they lost his pulse again, she even told us that he had no oxygen to his brain for a total 30 minutes and that it could have cause severe brain damage. After we found out what happened, she spoke to me about this treatment that could help. My hopes rose, until she mentioned that there’s this 30% chance that this can cause internal bleeding and could lead to death. I asked questions and even asked if we didn’t follow through, what were the chances of him surviving. It felt like a no-win situation. Yeah there’s that 70% precent he could get better but to me, that 30% chance was also a high number. What she told us wasn’t good. She gave my brother and me some time to talk amongst ourselves and come to a agreement. What kept screaming in my head was that 30% chance of internal bleeding that could lead to DEATH. It was like an alarm that kept going off. Once we came to an agreement, My brother and I approached the doctor, “we will follow through with the treatment.” She gave me a paper to sign since I was the oldest. Before I signed those dotted lines, these were the questions that ran through my head “Is this really what’s best for my dad?”, “what happens if it fails?”, “did I make the right decision?” Next thing you know, I signed and returned the paper. She told us she will start right away and will update us on how the treatment is going. After that, once again, my dad’s pulse was lost. They quickly surrounded him, one nurse with a manual oxygen pump pumping air into my dad’s lungs and another nurse on top, preforming CPR, an another grabbing the equipment and cords to move him to another location. The nurse approached us again and asked “are you sure you don’t have family you can reach out to?” Again we replied with “no”. I can’t remember what happened at this point but I do remember he got relocated to a different area in the emergency room because no rooms were available. I remember it was just my brother and me this time, my younger siblings were in the lobby. The doctor told us it isn’t looking good. He told us that he isn’t responding and if there is a possibility he wakes, he will be a vegetable, unable to move, his body will only allow him to blink his eyes. That will be the only movement. “There wouldn’t be much he can do” he said. My brother and I, in pain, in fear, and in shock. We didn’t get close because we couldn’t believe what had happened. The nurse once again approached us and asked one final time “are you sure there isn’t any family you can call and reach out to?” Again, my brother and I answered “no”. I remember her telling us how serious this was and how we’ll need support through this tough time, she also told us it will be awhile until he got a room so she will call when he receives one and walked away. I felt the nurse was very concerned, but at this point I felt it in my heart that my dad might not make it. Few minutes after, a sweet neighbor of ours that knew my family came to visit. She told us she heard the news and wanted to check on us and my dad to see how we were doing. I remember her walking up to my dad and her eyes started to water. She began to speak to him, letting him know he can get through this. I was jealous, I wish I had the courage to cheer my dad on like that but at the same time I knew I was in denial because I didn’t believe this happened to him, my dad. I was praying this was all a dream. I remember how she came up to me after and told me if I need anything to just ask, she’s just a door away. She was the sweetest person and one of the first to check on my dad.
Shortly after that, we went home. The house felt empty, it felt cold, it felt sad, everything felt out of place. We were lost. My brother step into my room and I can’t remember who asked first but one of us said “do you think we should call dad’s family?” At first we said no because of the relationship with some particular people that we weren’t to fond of, but after we talked about it, we asked ourselves “what would dad have wanted?” My dad loved his family, even though he was mistreated by one of his siblings and her daughters, he still cared deeply for each and everyone of them. He actually wanted the family to come together once again. Out of respect for my dad, we split the numbers between the 4 of us and we made calls. After I finished, my phone rang and it was the hospital informing us that my dad received a room in the ICU, I believe me and my brother rush back and the younger siblings stayed home. They let us know how the treatment went but it still wasn’t looking good. He wasn’t responding. We walked into the room and he was on life support, when I found that out I remember my dad mentioning to me a few months prior to this that if he was on life support he wanted to be taken off immediately. I freaked out a little and shared with my brother what he had told me. We carried that hope that my dad would wake up and be okay. So, we kept him on life support, we had that strong faith. Not long after he got settled, the nurse came in and told us new information. Things took a turn for the worst…
We received a lot of information through the week and so many tears, pain, and hope. Please stay tuned for part 3. Thank you for reading.